Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. -Buddha

Being mentally present during infertility treatments is a great way for families to effectively cope with the rollercoaster that the cycle can be. There are so many questions during this process, often with few answers. Maintaining mental and emotional resilience is a difficult task, but also an important one that can be developed through shepherding thoughts into the right directions.

The Past

Most couples who are facing infertility have a long road behind them, and normally one that’s full of challenges in order to have brought them here. When facing struggles with infertility, it is essential to let go of the things that you have tried and failed before. You can’t change the past, you can only affect your life in this present moment. It’s tempting to relive those frustrating moments, but by doing so you’ll find that you’re only creating the same negative feelings and outcomes again and again. It’s time to let go.

The Future

There is absolutely a beautiful thing about daydreaming. It’s something that most of us began doing when we were just children, but that we brought with us into adulthood as a way of escaping unpleasant things in our present. Unfortunately, the future is something that is very much out of our control. While we of course do have a say in our future, there are factors at play that we can’t affect, or even be aware of until we get there.

Couples struggling with infertility can find themselves constantly wrapped up in the thoughts of the future. After all, the future is the reason that you’re pursuing these treatments isn’t it? However living in a future in your mind, one that isn’t yet real and likely will be wholly different than what you’re imagining (it could be much better!), is robbing you of the joy of the present.

The Present

Being fully present in this moment will offer you a clarity and a freedom that will carry you through any tough times you might encounter in the future. That includes opening yourself to experiencing the moment that you’re living in during treatments. Remember that these experiences are the ones that are leading you to your future, and that as long as you live in this moment with positivity, the future will be positive and bright, no matter what it holds. Part of this process is letting go of expectations, which will free you to make the decisions that lead you to happiness.

Instead of thinking about the future as a mighty oak tree that’s already formed, think of the present as an acorn that needs you to nurture it and to help it grow into that mighty oak. Your present is an actionable place where you live, and where you can have control.